Rear View Mirror Significance Finder

Rear View Mirror Significance Finder

One of my greatest regrets in life has been my inability to perceive the significance of an event in real time, the value of an event as it unfolds rather than in the rear view mirror when it's impossible to go back. Like the last time I saw my dad alive. Or the last time my baby nursed at my breast. Or this last weekend.

Let me tell you about my weekend.

Imagine the girl you thought would never be your friend in junior high school back in the 70’s. The “Freak.” The “Band Geek.” The “shy Baptist girl.” The “Brain.” That was us. Such an unlikely group to get together 39 years later for a girls’ weekend near Dallas. But we did. And we learned we were never the labels we wore. We were so much more and so much less and so much else. But we played our parts and survived high school with our label personas in tact. Then came life. And we were all changed. Delightfully so.

We’ve connected over Facebook in the past few years and as each of us has dared to reveal our many layers, we’ve come to be the best of friends.  We’re still very different. But we like it that way. The beauty of being four 51 year old women who attended the same junior high and high school and who witnessed the events of these last 39 years is the best glue for building real friendships.

We are atheist, baptist, presbyterian and confused. We are “traditional” parents, single parents and intentionally childless. Three of us love dogs (almost as much as people) and one of us works hard to overcome a childhood dog attack. We are survivors of rape and sexual abuse (not all of us, but we all cried for each other.) We are adopted kids and not adopted kids and kids who wish they’d been adopted. We are all married, but oh how very different each marriage looks. Two of us have at least one gay child, one of us has purely straight children, and one of us has canine children who haven’t informed us of their sexual identities. One of us doesn’t drink and the other three love wine. Three of us are Sooner fans and one of us is a Poke. We are Libertarian, Republican, and Democrat. One is an archaeologist, one a mathematician, one a broadcaster and one a psychologist by training. None of us works in the field of our training. Two of us are skinny and two of us wish we were. Some of us cook (wonderfully) and some of us order take-out (wonderfully.)  A couple of us are overbearing and outgoing and a couple of us are quiet and shy. And all of us are awesome.

My rear-view-significance-finder self would have given anything to have been able to realize what a spectacular event was unfolding as it unfolded last weekend. But I won’t be too hard on myself; I know it now.

(The photo here is of me enjoying some canine love. I still wish we'd taken a group photo.)

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